Our New Lead Developer

Part 2 of the Ignighter Road Trip will be coming shortly, but before that we wanted to introduce the newest member of our team.

Kevin Owocki is Ignighter’s new lead developer. Kevin has 7 years of software engineering experience, and he has run a handful of small scale web companies. He’s an avid runner and ultimate frisbee player. He loves exploring the outdoors, meeting new, interesting people, and chatting about technology and startups. Ask him about his unique ability to relate nearly any situation to the plot of a Simpsons, Seinfeld, South Park, or Family Guy episode. Kevin is psyched for a landmark summer, and we’re really excited to have him on the team!

A/S/L Check – An Ignighter Interview Series – Hard Questions, Soft Bodies. #2

Today we’re excited to bring you the second installment of:

A/S/L Check – An Ignighter Interview Series - Hard Questions, Soft Bodies.

We were especially lucky to score an interview with the Ignighter Executive Assistant who asked that we protect his identity and use his fairly well known public alias, Andy Swinehouse. Andy has been a part time assistant in the office for 6 months now and is really an invaluable asset to the company. Especially since he doesn’t get paid. We can always rely on a freshly filled Brita filter in the refrigerator, a replenished stock of doubly-ply TP in the office bathroom, and presents under the Hannukah Bush during the holidays.

Ignighter: So Mr. Swinehouse, let’s dive right into the interview… How do you feel about running out to Starbucks and getting me a skim latte? One sugar.

Andy: How many times do I have to tell you? Just because I’m Dan’s roommate, that does not make me your Executive Assistant.

Ignighter: You know what? Make it two sugars please, I’m feeling saucy.

Andy (defeated): Can I at least wait until the interview is over?

Ignighter: Fine. Can you please explain the process of securing a job at Ignighter to all prospective employees out there?

Andy: Sure. Basically, I signed a lease with Dan expecting to have a nice apartment to return home to after a grueling day at law school, only to have it turned into a makeshift office for you two scrappy, poor entrepreneurs.

Ignighter: Ohhh interesting. Go on…

Andy: At first Adam -you – would clutch your palm dramatically exclaiming “Boy I could really use a hand massage right about now”. I tried to ignore the comments initially, but it became increasingly difficult when Adam started draping a mangled claw-hand in front of my face and holding a bottle of massage oil in his other hand. Before I knew it, I was rushing home from class to give Shiatsu treatments as the office masseuse. I’ve since been promoted to Executive Assistant.

Ignighter: Congratulations on the promotion! I see they like to promote in-house. Sounds like a solid company.

Andy: Eh.

Ignighter: Can you tell us about some of the other contributions you make to the company?

Andy: Well as I mentioned above I’m in law school. So even though they have fantastic professional counsel, they still come to me seeking advice on smaller legal issues.

Ignighter: Such as?

Andy: I remember one time the parking meters across the street from our apartment-

Ignighter: Andy…?

Andy: Ugh fine, across the street from the office. So one time Adam asked me if he could park at the meter across the street after 8 pm on a weeknight. And being as I had just passed the final in Constitutional Law, I was able to provide genuine legal counsel.

Ignighter (miffed): Yeah I think you still owe me $79 for that ticket I got.

Andy: Another time Dan asked me about the process of becoming a judge and if I thought Randy Jackson could ever have his own Judge show, like a Judge Judy. I told him ‘no’.

Ignighter: This is all very enlightening Andy. Let’s shift gears. Have you gone out on a group date through Ignighter yet?
Andy: Yes I have. The part I love most about Ignighter is that even though I’m in a relationship, I can still join a group and go out with my friends. I love playing matchmaker and I’m a great wingman.

Ignighter: And your significant other doesn’t mind?

Andy: No not at all. First of all, I’ve checked the box that says “Taken, but here for my friends” so right off the bat it’s clear that I’m just out to have fun with my buddies. Also, she’s in a group too. One time my group went out with her’s and we were able to introduce our respective friends to each other. It was an awesome time.

Ignighter: Looks like somebody is trying to get promoted to Head of Marketing!

Andy (chuckling): Can we wrap this up so I can get to my reading please? Wait, is there really an opening?

Ignighter: No. OK now it’s time for our closing questions.

Andy: Bring ‘em on.

Ignighter: What is your favorite word?

Andy: Queso.

Ignighter: What is your least favorite word?

Andy: Laundry.

Ignighter: Boxers or Commando?

Andy: Boxers.

Ignighter: Favorite Smell?

Andy: Buffalo wing sauce.

Ignighter: What historical figure would you most like to go on a date with?

Andy: Harriet Tubman.

Ignighter: Well Andy we want to thank you so much for being here.

Andy: We’re sitting on my bed.

Ignighter: Exactly. Keep up the great work and who knows, some day you might even be giving hand massages in a real office!

Interview with a Danpire

Hello Readers, sorry for the delay in posts. But today we’re totally making it up to you as we present our first in a series of interviews called:

A/S/L Check – An Ignighter Interview Series - Hard Questions, Soft Bodies.

We start off the series with an interview exclusive that Ignighter fought really hard to get; co-founder Dan Osit, 25. Dan is a NJ native with a penchant for cable news shows, talk radio, WSJ Op-Ed columns and anything else that helps him adopt other people’s quasi-informed opinions.

Ignighter: Dan, we’re really honored to have you here today. Thanks for coming.

Dan: Adam, we’re in my apartment. I just buzzed you in 10 minutes ago.

Ignighter: Right. Moving on.

Dan: k.

Ignighter: I think it makes the most sense for us to start at the beginning. Tell us about the night of your conception.

Dan: Well I don’t remember much because I was really young. But I will say that I haven’t been back to Cabo since.

Ignighter: Ok let’s skip ahead a little. Let’s talk about the College Years. Didn’t you think it was odd that Screech accompanied all the kids to Cal U only to become their RA?

Dan: Huh, Screech?

Ignighter: Alright, apparently somebody bailed on Saved By the Bell before it got good. But that’s ok. Tell us about your college years.

Dan: Well I attended Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. My Freshman year I joined a fraternity called Zeta Beta Tau…We affectionately called it ZBT. Hehehe.

Ignighter: Ohhh a frat boy! I bet there’s a lot of dirt to dig up there!

Dan (confused): Adam you were in the frat too.

Ignighter: Hmm seems like I hit a nerve. Maybe we should press on.

Dan: OK.

Ignighter: What was your major at Northwestern?

Dan: Communication Studies.

Ignighter: And do you think that has made you a better communicator in the business world?

Dan: Yes.

Ignighter: Can you give any examples?

Dan: Lots.

<<awkward silence>>

Ignighter: I wanted to bring up a pretty well documented event that happened early in your Sophomore year at Northwestern.

Dan: Oh yeah?

Ignighter: Yeah. Legend has it, that during the first lecture of Theories of Modern Mathematics, you struck up an enlightening conversation with a doe-eyed, breathtaking, young ingenue who for all intents and purposes has left an indelible mark in the forming of the fine young man you are today. Can you tell us about this chance encounter?

Dan: Well I’m pretty sure we’re talking about you again. And isn’t an ingenue a woman?

Ignighter: Is it? Again, we press on. I understand that after graduating you formed a company called Glenpoint Capital Partners. How many partners did you have?

Dan: I had 6 partners.

Ignighter: Sounds like a typical weekend for me. Zing!

Dan: I’m quite certain you don’t utilize the same level of “risk management” techniques with your partnerships though.

Ignighter (crest-fallen): zing.

Dan: Yes and then I left Glenpoint in late 2007 to c0-found Ignighter, a group-to group to dating and social networking service.

Ignighter: Hmmm sounds like a great idea. Well before we go, I want to close by asking you the same questions that we ask all our guests before they leave… your apartment.

Dan: Nice, shoot.

Ignighter: What is your favorite word?

Dan: Dogan.

Ignighter: What is your least favorite word?

Dan: Juice.

Ignighter: Boxers or Commando?

Dan: Boxers.

Ignighter: Favorite smell?

Dan: Cheese.

Ignighter: What historical figure would you most like to go on a date with?

Dan: Golda Meir.

Ignighter: Dan we want to thank you so much for coming here today and honoring us with this interview exclusive! It’s been great.

Dan: I live here, idiot.

Ignighter: Be sure to check back next week when we welcome another very special guest on:

A/S/L Check – An Ignighter Interview Series - Hard Questions, Soft Bodies.